do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
