last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize