I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
