Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
