You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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