North Korea, Best Korea!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
