Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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