Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
