the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
