I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
