so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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