Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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