i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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