Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
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