Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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