i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize