Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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