The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
