I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
love makes seman taste better
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
should my penis look like a turkey
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
