well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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