My friends, they love my intelligence
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
