i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
