I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
