Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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