It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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