You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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