lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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