I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
