She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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