it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
