You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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