Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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