Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize