Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
