I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
