whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Are my feet made of real feet?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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