eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
