good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize