he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize