He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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