So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
