As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
