Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize