I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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