people are starting to question the shark bite story
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
