I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
no, he came in my armpit
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize