Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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