I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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