i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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