what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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