Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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