I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
