So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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