After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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