meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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