you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
