In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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