im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
