I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
