Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
