For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
