Already got asked if we're dating
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
