I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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