Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
