My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
please come you make the beer taste better
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We're too hungover to prance.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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