Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
