god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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