Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
