Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
