we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
