Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
