i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
