Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize