now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
