3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize