That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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