We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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