i think i have two assholes
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
