If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
