Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
