Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
