so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
