and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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