atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize