Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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