keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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