brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize