once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
