you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Come on in and take your pants off
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