you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
